Unsure
by A Beautiful Beast
Summary: I hesitate to call what Peeta and I have 'romance', because I am not entirely sure if it is true. If I do love Peeta. My heart leaps into my throat when I see him, but is it an instinct, or have I trained myself to love him?


**Hey guys! My first fanfic in the HG section, so I'm sorta excited to see what kind of reaction this gets. **

**It's centered around Katniss' feelings when she arrives back in District 12, right after her first Games. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine, _duh._**

**You want to know my team? Who's side I'm on? Heh. You'll find out in the AN after the 'fic. *Giggles***

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Finally, Peeta and I have arrived home after what has been an excruciating nightmare. We take a step off of the fancy Capitol train, and into District 12. Home. A crowd has gathered to see us arrive, and they roar with glee as we come into view. I scan the crowd and pick out a few familiar faces. Greasy Sae. Ripper. My mother. Prim, who's sitting on Gale's shoulders. Gale himself is smiling at me, and though it shows no teeth, it's a smile nonetheless.

I grin back at him, and Prim looks like she's about to burst with a mixture of pride, happiness, and pure relief. Beside me, Peeta takes my hand and we raise our linked fingers into the crisp morning air. I beam at the crowd, and they cheer louder.

The only one who isn't cheering anymore is Gale.

The smile has faded from his face, and instead of the faint smirk that was there just moments ago, his jaw has been set into a hard line. I'm not sure, but I think his fists have been clenched into balls. I do not attempt to unlink my fingers from Peeta's, but I think about it, if only to spare Gale the pain of our . . . Romance.

I hesitate to call what Peeta and I have 'romance', because I am not entirely sure if it is true. If I do love Peeta. My heart leaps into my throat when I see him, but is it an instinct, or have I trained myself to love him?

Do I even want to love him?

I want my family to be safe, so I love him. But that is for the Capitol, not for _me._ I am forcing love upon myself, not allowing it to sneak up and attack me from behind like most. But I am not 'most'. I survived the arena. And brought the boy home with me. The boy who saved my life all those years ago. I've finally repaid him. But the boy with the bread wanted more. He wanted my heart; and I gave it to him. Was it willingly? I may never know. I was so confused - I still am.

Who do I love? Who loves me? Well, Prim, for certain. I guess I can add my mother to that list, and maybe even Gale. But what kind of love do I feel for Gale? The friendship type, or the romantic type?

I think it's friendship.

No no, let me rephrase that. I _hope_ it's friendship. I do not want to ruin whatever Gale and I have by telling him I love him. If I do love him, anyways. Which I don't. Actually, now that I think of it, I don't really love anyone. Not in the romantic sense anyways. Sure, I like Peeta, but that's just it. I like him. Not love, like. As in 'you are a great friend, but I do not feel romantically attracted to you.'

Though I know that's not what he feels for me. His eyes, his enchanting blue eyes, they light up when he talks to me. They sparkle when I kiss him.

But they are like sharp shards of ice when he looks at Gale. I can almost feel the invisible testosterone battle that is being waged as I stand on the rickety platform.

In the midst of this, the crowd is still cheering for us, as it has only been about a minute since we've arrived. But all I can see is Gale and Peeta, silently duking it out.

And I am the prize.

But I refuse to be a piece in their games. I will not be toyed around with anymore; I had enough of that in the arena. So I glare at Gale, then turn and give Peeta a look from narrowed eyes that plainly says 'behave, or else.' He gives me a pleading look, but I ignore it. I can hear him sigh beside me, and although airily, it holds a single note of apology.

I squeeze his hand in reassurance, but let go as we drop our linked fingers. After standing for what seems like hours, waving and smiling at the cheering crowd, the peacekeepers clear a path for us through the crowd, allowing us access to the Victor's Village.

I breathe in the scent of my District; the acrid smell that has come to symbolize home. It smells sweeter today, like a touch of honey has been added to it. Maybe it's just my imagination.

For the first time since the arena, I allow myself to think about the future. I have no worries about the reaping, as I've already been a victor. Prim may still be eligible, but her chances are very remote. And she was already picked once, so what are the odds of her being picked again?

No one in my whole District will go hungry, or die of starvation. At least, not this year. Neither me or my family will ever have to worry about money ever again. Yes, for the first time in my entire life, I have nothing to worry about.

_Well, almost nothing_, I think with a glance back at Peeta and Gale.

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**My team? You want to know who's side I'm on? I'm flattered. ;) **

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**You really want to know?**

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**Are you sure?**

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**Really, really sure?**

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**You'll get mad . . . **

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**I'm not going to tell you, so just go away.**

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***Bites lip***

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***Sighs***

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**Fine! (You're so darn stubborn!)**

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**You really want to know?**

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**Are you sure?**

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**Fine, whatever.**

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**It's Hayffie.**

**Didn't see that coming, did you?**


End file.
